Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Controlling Conflict


It’s said that control is the flip side of fear. When we’re afraid that disaster will strike, we want to seize control and hold on for dear life. Ironically, the harder we fight for control, the more chaotic things can become. This is especially true when we try to force our will on others.

I remember a time when almost every conversation I had with my daughter ended in anger. In my mind, she was the one who was being unreasonable when she lashed out against my advice or refused to answer my questions. I knew that she lied and kept dangerous secrets from me, and I was frustrated by my inability to break through and show her the light. I guess I thought that if I shouted and nagged enough, I would make her see that she was throwing her life away.

But the harder I tried to control her, the more she resisted. We were locked in an exhausting battle that did neither of us any good, until I accepted the need to let go of her problems and put the focus on myself. That was the beginning of my recovery.

I stopped challenging her on every suspected lie. I stopped offering unwanted advice. I let go of trying to solve the inevitable problems her addiction created. I started being clearer and firmer about my own boundaries. And when conflict with me was no longer a convenient excuse for her problems, she was left face-to-face with the consequences of her own choices. That was the beginning of her recovery.

3 comments:

  1. Here is  my testimony on how I was cured of HIV by Dr Akhigbe,with his natural herbal medicine.  on a regular basis in efforts to help others when I could. As you may know, each donation is tested.  Well, on July 6th I had a meeting with a Red Cross representative and was told that I had HIV. “What went through your mind when you heard that "Rose" Good question reader! To be honest, I thought my life was over, that I would ever find love, get married, have children or anything normal. Lucky for me I have an amazing support system.  My family supported me then I never thought that I was invincible to STD s or pregnancy or anything else parents warn their kids about. I just didn’t think about it. I was in a monogamous relationship and thought that I asked the right questions.  We even talked about marriage Scary.  During that time I was in college and donated blood on a re as well. who helped me in search of cure through the media.there we saw a good testimony of sister 'Kate' about the good work of Dr Akhigbe natural herbal medicine cure.then I copied his email address and contacted him. A good herbalist doctor with a good heart, he is kind, loving and caring. He replied back to my message and told me what to do. After a week the doctor sent me my herbal medicine and instructed me how to take it.Yes it worked very well, after drinking it I went to the hospital for another test and everything turned negative. What a wonderful testimony I can never forget in my life. Dr Akhigbe is a man who gave me a life to live happily forever so all I want you all to believe and know that cure of HIV is real and herbs is a powerful medicine and it works and heals.  Dr Akhigbe also used his herbal medicine to cure diseases like:   HERPES, DIABETES, SCABIES, HEPATITIS A/B, STROKE, CANCER, ALS, TUBERCULOSIS, ASTHMA, PENIS ENLARGEMENT, MALARIA, LUPUS, LIVER CIRRHOSIS, DEPRESSION, HIV/AIDS, EPILEPSY, BACTERIAL, DIARRHEA, HEART DISEASES, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, PARKINSON'S, ALZHEIMER, COLD URTICARIA, HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS,INSOMNIA,  BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS, SCHIZOPHRENIA, JOINT PAIN, STOMACH PAIN, CHROME DISEASES, CHLAMYDIA, INSOMNIA HEARTBURN, ,  THYROID, MAR BURG DISEASES, MENINGITIS, ARTHRITIS, BODY WEAK, SMALLPOX, DENGUE, FEVER, CURBS, CHANCRE, ETC.   You are there and you find yourself in any of these situations, kindly contact Dr Akhigbe now to help you get rid of it. Here is his email address:
       drrealakhigbe@gmail.com      or you can write to him on whats app with his phone number:   +2349010754824.
      My appreciation is to share his testimony for the world to know the good work Dr Akhigbe has done for me and he will do the same for you.
       

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  2. It was during my research on HIV/Herpes that I stumbled upon the Hiv/Herpes information; information which is quite easy to find when doing a search for STD on google. I was into conspiracy at the time and thought of HIV/Herpes Cured' being a conspiracy was something ignorant though,I found it pretty interesting about herbal medicine. I asked questions about the Herbal cure's on official HIV/Herpes websites and I was banned for doing so by moderators who told me that I was parroting Hiv/Herpes propaganda. This reinforced my belief that there is a cure for Hiv/Herpes Then i found a lady from germany name Achima Abelard Dr Itua Cure her Hiv so I send him a mail about my situation then talk more about it and send me his herbal medicine I drank for two weeks.And today I'm Cured no Hiv/Herpes in my life,I searched for Hiv/Herpes groups to attempt to make contact with people in order to learn more about Hiv/Herpes Herbal Cure I believed at this time that you with the same disease this information is helpful to you and I wanted to do the best I could to spread this information in the hopes of helping other people.That Dr Itua Herbal Medicine makes me believes there is a hope for people suffering from,Parkinson's,Alzheimer’s disease,Bechet’s disease,Crohn’s disease,Cushing’s disease,Heart failure,Multiple Sclerosis,Hypertension,Colo_Rectal Cancer,Lyme Disease,Blood Cancer,Brain Cancer,Breast Cancer,Lung Cancer,Kidney Cancer,Love Spell,psoriasis,Lottery Spell,disease,Schizophrenia,Cancer,Scoliosis,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Infertility,Tach Disease ,Epilepsy ,Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Autism,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma, (measles, tetanus, whooping cough, tuberculosis, polio and diphtheria)Allergic diseases.Parkinson's disease,Schizophrenia,Lung Cancer,Breast Cancer,Colo-Rectal Cancer,Blood Cancer,Prostate Cancer,siva.Fatal Familial Insomnia Factor V Leiden Mutation ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic small-round-cell tumor Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Scoliosis,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone ToxicitySyndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans ProgresS sclerosis,Seizures,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases.Hiv_ Aids,Herpe ,Copd,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.
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    Skin Cancer, Brain Tumor, ,Hiv_ Aids,Herpes,Inflammatory bowel disease ,Copd,Diabetes,Hepatitis,Lupus,I read about him online how he cure Tasha and Tara,Conley,Mckinney and many more suffering from all kind of disease so i contacted him . He's a herbal doctor with a unique heart of God, Contact Email. ... drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com Phone or whatsapp..+2348149277967.

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  3. Though not in the 'hard-drug addiction' category, I have suffered enough unrelenting ACE-related hyper-anxiety to have known, enjoyed and appreciated the great release upon consuming alcohol and/or THC.

    Yet, I once was one of those who, while sympathetic, would look down on those who’d ‘allowed’ themselves to become addicted to alcohol and/or illicit 'hard' drugs.

    Fortunately, the preconceived erroneous notion that drug addicts are simply weak-willed and/or have committed a moral crime is gradually diminishing.

    We now know that Western pharmaceutical corporations intentionally pushed their very addictive and profitable opiates — I call it by far the real moral crime — for which they got off relatively lightly, considering the resulting immense suffering and overdose death numbers.

    Still, typically societally overlooked is that intense addiction usually doesn’t originate from a bout of boredom, where a person repeatedly consumed recreationally but became heavily hooked — and homeless, soon after — on an unregulated often-deadly chemical that eventually destroyed their life and even those of loved-ones.

    Also, neglecting people dealing with debilitating drug addiction should never have been an acceptable or preferable political option. But the more callous politics that are typically involved with lacking addiction funding/services tend to reflect conservative electorate opposition, however irrational, against making proper treatment available to low- and no-income addicts.

    It’s like some people are actually considered disposable.

    Even to an otherwise relatively civilized nation, their worth is measured basically by their sober ‘productivity’ or lack thereof. Those people may then begin perceiving themselves as worthless and accordingly live their daily lives and consume their substances more haphazardly.

    Tragically, many chronically addicted people won't miss this world if they never wake up. It's not that they necessarily want to die; it's that they want their pointless corporeal hell to cease and desist.

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